BRING US YOUR KINGS

letsly asked:

Oh gosh, I don't remember which kid it was, but I remember one of them being born from like Jesse and some sort of plant monster if I'm right, and just came into existence. How did this happen? Was there beautiful male pregnancy (im kidding im promise) or was there something else? I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT THAT BUT FORGOT TO ASK....

That’s the kid that I usually don’t talk about because he feels stupid and Mary Sueish and with unfocused creation now, but I haven’t gone back and reworked his character yet.

Just letting you know that before I continue and feel retarded for how silly I was.

I also didn’t know how birth worked either. Which is important to know.

I still don’t know how birth worked and I’m pretty sure storks are a reasonable excuse, but I now know that it DIDN’T work like what I thought it did.

Anyhow, the kid didn’t really have a set name. I usually just referred to him as Lucy/Jess Jr. or just as p.Jesse’s plant kid. He never had a real name as p.Jesse tried to ignore him for a long while until having a name was kind of irrelevant. p.Jesse is the best father.

Um, for this, I think that it was mostly to do with p.Jesse’s asexual reproductive capabilities? Basically he placed enough of himself into the plant monster for an asexual/clone offspring to be born. And the plant monster was kind of half animal half plant- well, mostly plant, but gave birth in a much more mammalian manner.

Try saying those last four words ten times fast.

I’m pretty sure that the gestation period was in hyperspeed and the plant monster produced p.Jesse’s child quickly, or something stupid like that, but I may also be trying to repress the stupider things I thought happened when kids came about.

Long answer short- the plant monster gave birth to something of an asexually produced (but incubated in another womb) child and p.Jesse found out about it because a few days later there was a little him running about the greenhouse.

letsly asked:

I HOPE THIS HASN'T BEEN ASKED BEFORE EITHER BUT I also remember reading Jesse has quite a few kids. I know some of them, but maybe give us the names of all his kids and a small description of them?

I think I was just asked about kids he kind of adopted? SO THIS TIME I WILL TELL YOU OF HIS BLOOOOD CHILDREN.

The first child kind of doesn’t have a name, and I jokingly refer to him as Lucy Jr. (AKA p.Jesse’s alternate name, Lucitanis, harharhar I’m so witty). This was back in the day that p.Jesse still had his PLANT POWERS and I hadn’t rewrote his character yet- and the situation of how Lucy Jr. came about was ridiculous at best, so it’s hard to consider it canon on that side, but on the other side it ended tragically and heavily impacted p.Jesse. So I would like to rewrite the story of a first kid like this where it wouldn’t be so absolutely redonkulous. Anyhow, p.Jesse’s drunk on whatever concoction of poison’s he’s come up with, basically gets raped by this Venus Fly Trap thing, and then awhile later this kid with his plant powers amplified shows up. p.Jesse, at first, is like UH-UH I DON’T WANT NO KID WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. But he begrudgingly takes him in. The kid kind of lives life with like the timespan of a fly’s life. He starts growing old very quickly, he and p.Jesse continually fight, and then he gets wrinkled and old and tells p.Jesse it’s alright, then he DIES. It was very bittersweet at the end and that bit makes me want to keep that child existing. I would have to certainly rewrite it though.

Then there’s Queue, or q.Jesse. Queue wasn’t born through sexual intercourse, but came into being due to the asexual reproduction part of p.Jesse’s powers. So he’s not a ‘kid’ like you would think of other children, but by definition he is p.Jesse’s offspring. He suddenly finds himself wandering around in the woods having no clue who he is or what he’s doing, is found by some people, no one can find any ID on him, and he has no memories so he just kind of… makes a home for himself near the small town by which he was found. Eventually p.Jesse learns that he had like a bit of his earlobe cut off in a fight and that it regrew into a whole nother version of him, and he goes to kill Queue. They have some hot clonecest first. p.Jesse is the best father.

Although we’ve not finished rps about this and so it’s very undefined, and may change according to how we rp, but the third child p.Jesse would have would be with Star’s afrit character, Rasha, who believed she was barren but with a little help of p.Jesse’s asexual reproduction system will make a babbie. This child effects p.Jesse, but in a different way than Lucitanis Jr. After this it finally dawns on him that he does want kids and he was kind of denying that fact before.

He then has three children, naturally (no magic, nor plants, nor asexual reproduction involved), with a human woman named Isabeau. I actually can’t describe them right now, but Isabeau dies in childbirth of the last child, p.Jesse kind of viewed her and now the children as a sign of his bound nature to this world and may hate them just an itsy bit, but eventually he gets in incestuous relationships with his oldest son (which feels less incestuous than him hitting on his mom, Sept, all the time), ignores the middle child, and then spoils the youngest child rotten. His estate is burned down at some point, in which the eldest (also his lover) is definitely dead, the youngest is presumed dead but no body is found, and the middle one is relatively unscathed but effected mentally to the point that they don’t remember anything during or before the fire, at all. p.Jesse, in so many words, abandons the middle child on his wife’s mother’s doorstep (the kid’s grandma) and doesn’t really make any attempts of contacting him afterwards.

p.Jesse is clearly the best father.